yup.. so..i dont know why im even fakin like i dont know why im so sad..i fuckin know... i need to stop playing the fool..
let me tell you a little something about me..
now. after i told you i dont want your number. and im not goin to give you mines..its for good reasoning.. after all the says i have been sitting here thinking.. wondering. sulking... being sad.. ive been going and going and gooing. just to end up in a circle ... to fuckin end up back where i started.. 5611 church fuckin road. my home.. thats where it all began..
everything grows.. thats what life is about your born.. u become a kid. play.. live your life so nonchalantly without the slightest care in the world....running.. playing..your imagination is wild...why cant we all just stay that way..things are better off that way...it seems like nothing goes wrong..the biggest thing you worry about is being in the house before the lights come on because its too dark and mommy is goin to beat that ass if you dont...or in my case.. because im scared somebody is goin to snatch me from my back yard which used to be nothing but a big ass field.. with animals running around and trees.. the good old country..
but then where did it all go wrong? you ask... Where is she going with this? you ask? .. well.. ill tell you...
being young and dumb, making stupid choices in life.. or.. maybe its genetics.. maybe it runs in the family..
lies.. cheat.. deceit... whats a girl like me to do??
worrying wondering.. whats next in life.. spending too much time to things that arent important then just sitting back and relaxing.. enjoying life now. as it is..
instead of what your plans are for tomorrow,
i used to live for everybody else.. never livin for what was most important.. and that was self happiness. you cant love other without loving yourself first.. and before i didnt realize that.. now i got a first hand glimpse of it.. im kinda sad it took me to have a child to understand that.. and more importantly.. im pissed it took damn near 10 months after i had a child to actually take full advantage of it..
Now its time for me to love me some me..its takin all this time.. and all that pain.. to build up.. and burst.. and now.. now that i let it out.. its time to really live.. the right way..
i never really been honest before.. not to others... not to ones i supposedly care for.. not to me..not to nobody.
so this is going to be hard...
but now its time.. time to start right..
_maryJane_
my life is like maryjane.. good while it last but in the long run wont do you anygood.
days go on and on and on.. the lies keep building up...like a fire inside.. each lie is like fuel..growing more and more for each one.. until the death of me..
where to begin.. how do u breathe? to much smoke.. cant see through the pain. breathing it in. taking it in..to marinate in it.. you dont know any better.is it happiness? bliss..YES. i love it.i say.. i love you.. i say.. and u believe me.. and i get what i want..but then when its over.. and were finished... you wish you had more.. and i wish u would go the fuck away..like a headache after the rush...
-VeNus FLy Trap-
.... i wonder again why im not happy...well.. let me tell you this ... im not honest..everything i onced told you was probably a lie..how couldu love a woman like me? you dont even know the real me. its like i live 2 lives... the good the bad..the sweet the evil... its like im living with a twin..an evil twin. out to stab me in the back.. i dont love you. so dont believe it when i say it.. and no your not the only one..when you speak. i laugh inside.. it tickles my soul...its funny that you think im real..its funny the way you look at me and cant decide if its love or lust.. well let me telll. you.
. its neither.hah..sucker..just another one to fall into my trap.. luck you.. must of been something about you that made me choose you.juicy maybe thats why...your one of the chosen ones.. and i only choose the best.. so dont take it to heart..get over it and move on..
wtf am i writing about? lls.. i really dont know. im just typing.. rambling.. hoping i make sense... am i writing about somebody? or something? is it me? am i lost?
fuckin prob...oh well..
i like not making sense.. makes me feel good..
jayden is sittin here in my lap being a brat fuckin all my shit up.. hes bout to get it..haha
im done not making any sensse for now
let me tell you a little something about me..
now. after i told you i dont want your number. and im not goin to give you mines..its for good reasoning.. after all the says i have been sitting here thinking.. wondering. sulking... being sad.. ive been going and going and gooing. just to end up in a circle ... to fuckin end up back where i started.. 5611 church fuckin road. my home.. thats where it all began..
everything grows.. thats what life is about your born.. u become a kid. play.. live your life so nonchalantly without the slightest care in the world....running.. playing..your imagination is wild...why cant we all just stay that way..things are better off that way...it seems like nothing goes wrong..the biggest thing you worry about is being in the house before the lights come on because its too dark and mommy is goin to beat that ass if you dont...or in my case.. because im scared somebody is goin to snatch me from my back yard which used to be nothing but a big ass field.. with animals running around and trees.. the good old country..
but then where did it all go wrong? you ask... Where is she going with this? you ask? .. well.. ill tell you...
being young and dumb, making stupid choices in life.. or.. maybe its genetics.. maybe it runs in the family..
lies.. cheat.. deceit... whats a girl like me to do??
worrying wondering.. whats next in life.. spending too much time to things that arent important then just sitting back and relaxing.. enjoying life now. as it is..
instead of what your plans are for tomorrow,
i used to live for everybody else.. never livin for what was most important.. and that was self happiness. you cant love other without loving yourself first.. and before i didnt realize that.. now i got a first hand glimpse of it.. im kinda sad it took me to have a child to understand that.. and more importantly.. im pissed it took damn near 10 months after i had a child to actually take full advantage of it..
Now its time for me to love me some me..its takin all this time.. and all that pain.. to build up.. and burst.. and now.. now that i let it out.. its time to really live.. the right way..
i never really been honest before.. not to others... not to ones i supposedly care for.. not to me..not to nobody.
so this is going to be hard...
but now its time.. time to start right..
_maryJane_
my life is like maryjane.. good while it last but in the long run wont do you anygood.
days go on and on and on.. the lies keep building up...like a fire inside.. each lie is like fuel..growing more and more for each one.. until the death of me..
where to begin.. how do u breathe? to much smoke.. cant see through the pain. breathing it in. taking it in..to marinate in it.. you dont know any better.is it happiness? bliss..YES. i love it.i say.. i love you.. i say.. and u believe me.. and i get what i want..but then when its over.. and were finished... you wish you had more.. and i wish u would go the fuck away..like a headache after the rush...
-VeNus FLy Trap-
.... i wonder again why im not happy...well.. let me tell you this ... im not honest..everything i onced told you was probably a lie..how couldu love a woman like me? you dont even know the real me. its like i live 2 lives... the good the bad..the sweet the evil... its like im living with a twin..an evil twin. out to stab me in the back.. i dont love you. so dont believe it when i say it.. and no your not the only one..when you speak. i laugh inside.. it tickles my soul...its funny that you think im real..its funny the way you look at me and cant decide if its love or lust.. well let me telll. you.
. its neither.hah..sucker..just another one to fall into my trap.. luck you.. must of been something about you that made me choose you.juicy maybe thats why...your one of the chosen ones.. and i only choose the best.. so dont take it to heart..get over it and move on..
wtf am i writing about? lls.. i really dont know. im just typing.. rambling.. hoping i make sense... am i writing about somebody? or something? is it me? am i lost?
fuckin prob...oh well..
i like not making sense.. makes me feel good..
jayden is sittin here in my lap being a brat fuckin all my shit up.. hes bout to get it..haha
im done not making any sensse for now
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